catch up (:

long time no blog (: & even though no one reads these, well i can vent here, because its too early in the morning and no ones online (: Lol & i would twitter this XD no duh =] but theres a limit on how many words you can use on twitter, so yeah i need some venting time =) so where do i start......

F R I E N D S H I P <3 (:
okay, i knowwww that with great friendship comes even greaterr trust in someone. but see when one of your best friends tells you a secret, that is going to effect so many people, and hurt so many people like no other..wouldnt you tell the one person it would hurt the mostt? the person it would affect the same way it would effect you? and the good thing you do, trying to protect another friend, ends up hurting that same friend that told you the secret, so now..your the bad guy either way. just because you were trying to protect one friend, you ended up hurting another..no matter how good you try to be karma always has to bite you in the ass {sry for the languagee some of u may be too young} and so now that friend that trusted you, is never going to trust you again, is gonna keep trying to teach you a lesson until you learn what a horrible horrible person you are, even though you already know. and now you have noo idea if your ever gonna be the same with that friend again ;/ and you know the worst part about it? you know that heartbreaking like u wanna die feeling you get when someone breaks up with you? thats NOTHING. compared to hurting one of your best friends. one of the people you loved the most with your entire heart. knowing you hurt them that bad that they might never even be friends with you...when you've lost a part of your heart..? what are you supposed to do there? just keep on breathing? ha..tell me how and ill gladlyy follow it ;p

Y O U T U B E (:
i havee opened my girlzwanahavefun account yet again, one of the reasons being my best friend that i wrote about up there ;p and ive made about..3 videos in one day for that account, and i got like no comments on it out of 499 subscribers. its not like its that big of a deal, but the fact that im working between like 3-7 hours on a video that in the end, i think turns out absolutly amazing, and i get no comments on it..idk =p i mean i guess i do always get a lot of comments on that account, i just deleted it a lot, no one remembers it, but i mean still it would be nicee i had a million friends on that account, and its like no one remembers ;p oh well, ill figure something outt (:

E A S T E R (:
mmk just saying hope you guys have a greatt easterr XD its my favorite holiday everr, spring, warmth, CHOCOLATE!!! i wish my birthday was in spring in stead of summer ;p grr lol anywayy have fun todayy, even if your like 15 or whateverr go o ut and have funn cause i mean, ya never know, you might not be here tomorrow ;p hopefully we all are though!

mmk thats my ranting venting for the day (: blog..actually maybe ill twitter more laterr (:

love,nessa

ughh.

omg i am soo mad...or sad i dont even know. but all that i do know is that my best friend in the whole world isnt really my best friend in the whole world anymore. me and him used to talk all day everyday and talk about anything and everything and now...we're just drifting apart. and i need to figure something out so that we dont. cause we only have 2 years left together and then who knows if we'll ever see eachother again...and that just...plain sucks. I need to seriously turn my life around with him or else...i just know he likes me. everyone knows he likes me its just...his friends are getting in the way...or...his age or idk what anymore! all i know is i just cant forget about him, everything reminds me of him...and he's just....amazing. and i dont know how to hide that because...i just cant take not being with him. and its killing me not being able to do anything with him. so yea i had an entire hour alone with him and i never was able to get the stupid nerve to talk to him. ugh whatever im just...gonna figure something out with miranda and hunter...especially hunter because hunter is both of our friends and he's verry cool. so yea i kinda got a plan so we'll see...yea...i suppose...

updates

I'll make a lot of bg's and a few videos this weekend...if my computer decides to be good to me...idk how long ill be able to be online tomorrow cause these ppl are coming to visit and idk if ill have to kiss up or not lol yea ill probably make 2 more episodes of YSF and some random videos cause its been over a month since i just made like..music videos! lol and then a lot of bg's cause i have WAYYYY too many pictures saved, especially of ashley&Zanessa, so yea hmm...i was gonna do some stuff on SelGomezSite, but im not sure, I have to study a lottt...i have a bad feeling, im not doing so well with my grades so far this year, so i REALLLYY gotta get that up, especially before conferences which are soon. ugh i hate those. hmm...idk really what else there is to say...haha my friend cory is trying to fix me up with one of his freinds...i told him idk but he made me promise to think about it...so yea i gotta wait till like tuesday to tell him cause i have to talk to my bestestestestesttt friend everr about it, and then i have to talk to grant before i say anything for sure lol cuase im getting some okay feelings about some of these things lol idk so yea get ready for a lotta stuff coming this weekend xD
xox

PUCK!!! [[a midsummer night's dream]]

LAUGH MY FUCKING ASS OFF!! lol I got the ENTIREEEE day off of school, and went to...i think madison? wisconsin to see the shakespeare play A midsummernight's dream! HOLY...COW! lol puck was...."big" lmao if u girls know what im talking about haha everyone was onlyy talking about him! lol the play was soo amazing, and bees like stalked my friend miranda! lol and she's like allergic so that was just hillarious!!! i have to do a lot of homework and catch up with some pplz =]
write more later lol
xox

WRONG.

everything went wronggg. how could this have happened!? someone PLEASE turn back time. my freind is notttt supposed to be going out with that....thing. yea im being mean idc. they are SOOOOO not supposed to be together and thats just that. now they're gonna sit by me at lunch, and EWWWWW. help!!! im gonna like literally cry right now WHYY DID SHE DO THAT!??? ugh i am soo mad at her. he's just..EWWWWW. i seriously wish i could show you what he looks like cause i mean..ughh he used to be okay. then he got a crush on me. and just..ICKKKK. looks like ill have to play another game of avoiding this year...although idk how ill do it at lunch...ughhh.
i have to think about this one.
and i need to talk to my best friend. WHO needs to get her mom to get internet cause my phone aint wrokin right now!! grr lol
anyway...ugh im nottt gonna survive tomorrow..OH FUCK NOO homecoming! i DONT wanna go to homecoming with "it" eww!! omg i need BRAND new plans like NOW. which means coming up with a SERIOUS plan. ok. ill say...im sry guys i cant go to dinner cause my...cousins from new york are coming here and...my parents are barely letting me go to homecoming, so we had to make a deal that i have to stay home and just go straight to homecoming and straight back! yea great! and ill say i tried to figure something else out but nothin worked, i almsot got grounded and couldnt go at all so yea....omg thank god i came up with something!
anyway, new episode of ysf tonight =]
dont miss it xD
lyl xox

Sucky Day.

just what the title says. school...just sucked...kinda the first half of the day did, then the second half was...ok i guess. then i got home. and i realized "you're not moving today." UGHH. gay old owner. He was married, then he got divorced, and has to pay child support. well they couldnt find those stupid papers that prove he is paying it. and now when the realtor lady came, she's like...it could last a few days, or a few weeks, or a few months...or...it might not happen. so idk what's gonna happen now, am i gonna get to find out what its liek to be homeless!? ugh crap. and then grant...well...grant and his friends are...soooo confusing. and idk. he just...the way he looks at me makes me KNOW for definatly sure he likes me...but then...idk nixed emotions? mixed signals? something like that?! idkkk!!!!! ugh well yea. homecoming is coming up VERRYYYY soon! and i cant wait for that...i just want someone to ask me. someone in particular, but as far as i see it, he isnt going to the dance. cause he doesnt liek dances. BUT he went in middle school! not that big of a difference! except now u take pictures, and u have to dress up a little bit more, big whoop. oh today in history we had these guest speakers, soldiers from iraq. omg they showed some of these videos and they were soo sad but..liek idk i dont even know what im saying or...typing right now im so out of it. i have a lot of homework to do and stuff, so i guess i'll just get started on that huh?!
lyl
xoxVanesa

Time To Move On...[[Leave It On The LIne...]]

I love that song =] Its amazing! I love it, and it kinda go's with my situation right now =p
but anyway, just what the title says, time to move on...from...certain people...and...yea it'll be hard, but...there's this quote, "If you love someone, set them free, If they come back, they're yours. and if they don't they never were.." so...i'll set him free...and hope he'll come back. but if he doesn't than that just means theres someone better out there for me...right? pleaseee say im right i need all the help i can get right now cause he's my bestestestesttt friend...and i dont wanna let him go. but...it's time cause, we can always be friends no matter what but...yea anyway i cant write a lot now, atleast not until life gets a little less uncomplicated...so yea ill be on youtube with the comments box up HOPEFULLY this weekend, cause we're moving friday and saturday and sunday and maybe even monday, so yea idk when ill have internet and stuff, but if i dont, ill just go to my aunts house and get all that =]] okai oh...yea..nvm haha and EVERYONE BETTER GET DEMI LOVATO'S DON'T FORGET CD!!!! it's sooo amazing! you have noo idea!!!! xD
xoxVanesaxox